So last night was entertaining. I spent the evening moaning at Ceirwen to come to the pub with me, she refused and completely refused to even get drunk with me, being the persistent person that I am… I continued to try to make her do something with me, even though the later it was getting I didn’t actually want to do anything. Eventually she agreed to go for a long late night walk with me.
I quickly packed my bag, filling it with my phone, purse, keys a bottle of cider and two vodka shots. I knew that even if she didn’t want to drink, I could still drink on my own, with her company. The walk was pretty pointless. We got around the corner and I’d already talked her around to drinking. We headed to the shop to buy some sweets and walked back to my house. Ceirwen doesn’t like cider, she prefers drinks like WKD, where as I think the cheaper the better, plus it’s rather strong and does the job, so we mixed the cider with black currant juice to make it taste less like cat pee and we we’re both happy! Then it came to the shots, they we’re left over shots that we had bought a few weeks back to sneak into the pub. Mine was cherry and hers was apple, we both hate the cherry one so Ceirwen agreed to swop so I could have the nice one aha!
After a few hours and even though we wouldnt admit it we we’re pretty much on our way to being wasted, she started to analyze who I am as a person, we came to the conclusion that I always get what I want even though I don’t always want it, but will get it to prove a point. She was saying that I’m much suited to Ben than I would be to someone who wasnt as much as a pushover or was persistent like me, which I thought i’d be more suited to someone like me, but I guess not!
I know it makes me sound really spoilt and it’s true, I’ve always been spoilt and always found a way to get what I want out of life, I’m not a brat though. I always used to share my toys when I was younger and I wouldn’t say I’m selfish. I would give my last to help someone else out and I never moan about my problems to anyone because I know that people have their own problems to deal with.
The way I see it is, it’s my life and life is so short so why not get what I want? I used to be such a pushover, so needy and I used to let people treat me like crap but, a drunken weekend at Leeds festival changed all of that, it changed my relationship with family, friends and my boyfriend.
I’ve always been out spoken and never really hold anything back, I have no shame and the older I get, although I’m only 20, I don’t think it’s such a bad thing. I am not a very good liar so I prefer to be honest, even if it does upset people. I would rather someone upset me and be true than lie and be fake.
I understand reading this I sound like a spoilt know it all and maybe that’s what I am but I don’t think it makes me a bad person and I don’t see me changing for anyone. It’s my life and I will do whatever I can to ensure myself and my family are happy.