My Perfect Boyfriend

I’ve been moaning a lot recently to anyone that will listen about how boring it is being single, I’ve been single for 4 months and although thats not a long time, I don’t see the appeal at all, why be single if you can be in a loving relationship? It’s not that I havent had the chance to meet guys, because I have, it’s more the fact that they all seem to be idiots. Although, I never really give anyone a chance. I’m quick to judge people and decide there and then if I can even be bothered with them and the majority of the time, I can’t. There is a lot of weirdos in this world and I should know, because I’m one of them, I’m just so fussy I don’t think I’ll find someone who ticks every box.. or even close! so here’s my list:

    1. He has to like children, because lets face it.. if he doesn’t, then that’s going to be a problem!
    2. I have to be attracted to him
    3. Always want to better himself
    4. Be himself no matter what anyone thinks of him
    5. Be extremely hygienic
    6. Know how to make me happy
    7. Have things in common with me
    8. Take pride in his appearance
    9. Has to be taller than me
    10. Dark hair and dark eyes is always a plus
    11. Not care if his family think he can do better than me
    12. He has to smell nice
    13. He has to be funny, because if he doesn’t make me laugh, whats the point?
    14. Not get jealous over every single thing, because if I’m going out with him, that should be enough to show I like him.
    15. He has to like my family and act like he’s apart of my family.
    16. Let me wear his T-shirts to bed
    17. Like Love animals
    18. Be creative
    19. Like computer games
    20. Like phone calls no matter how pointless they are
    21. Want to spend as much time with me as possible
    22. Put me before his friends
    23. Stick up for me and defend me
    24. Understand that if we’re sharing a umberella, hes going to get soaked because I’m short therefore have to hold the brolly or I’ll get wet!
    25. Want to go places with me
    26. Wants to spend time with me and Alfie
    27. Someone that wakes me up in the morning and tells me to get dressed as he’s made plans for us that day
    28. He kinda has to understand that when it comes to money, I don’t save, ever, I could be dead tomorrow, what good are my savings then?
    29. Not moan that I dye my hair pretty much weekly
    30. Understand that yeah I moan my hairs too long, but as soon as it gets too long, I’ll cut it short and buy overly expensive hair extensions then moan my hairs too short
    31. Not be freaked out that I kinda have split personalities
    32. Not mind that I buy pointless stuff that I’ll never use
    33. Someone who encourages me to be a better person
    34. Someone who’s witty and sarcastic
    35. Know that although I’m not perfect neither are you
    36. Someone that doesn’t lie to me and tells me the truth even if it will hurt me
    37. Someone who’s romantic and spontaneous but knows there’s a line between romantic and cheesy, you’re not Romeo so don’t pretend to be
    38. Not be pissed at me for changing my mind on absolutely everything several times a day
    39. Doesnt think im weird because I often talk in different accents without even realising
    40. Someone that doesn’t eat lamb, ever. haha
    41. He has to like music as I sing pretty much all the time, I even sing my conversations some times
    42. Will go out of his way, no matter what it takes to make me happy
    43. Someone with confidence because I have great confidence and could talk to anyone, although sometimes I get incredibly shy
    44. Theres a fine line between confidence and cockiness though.. just saying!
    45. Understand and not question my fears, they are stupid and I’m fully aware of that
    46. Not question that I believe in God, he doesn’t have to be religious though
    47. Be extremely cute and playful
    48. Not care that I’m fat and don’t have the perfect porn star body especialy because of stretchmarks
    49. Not moan that I spend way too much money on Coca Cola
    50. I get bored very quickly so he has to know how to entertain me
    51. I want someone who knows what he wants and tells me
    52. He has to understand that I never know what I want!
    53. I’m not a push over so he shouldnt be either
    54. Someone who doesn’t get angry, shout of moan at me
    55. Obviously, he can’t be physically abusive, I’m not stupid
    56. Someone that understands although I’ll grow old I’ll never grow up
    57. Want to try anything once
    58. Someone that wants the whole entire world to know how much he loves me
    59. Someone that also understands that I don’t really like public displays of affection
    60. Someone that understands that I’m a hypocrite.. ha.

I think I’m done, at least that’s all I can think of, My list could actually go to at least 10 A4 pages long, but in fear that I’ll turn into a nun if I don’t stop being fussy, there’s my list! I really wanted a boyfriend by January the 1st, tis my birthday, but Jesus, re-reading it I see why I’m single! aha. Maybe one day.


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