It’s been such a good day. We randomly decided to go to the park & have a picnic, a picnic wouldn’t be a picnic unless it was a dominoes picnic so the plan was in order & soon to be was our lunch! I got the food sorted & Phil washed & dressed the little ones. Taking ages to get to the bus stop because of Alfie’s slow walking we thought we’d be waiting ages in the hot sun but just as we arrived so did a bus! & luckily the cheaper one, i’m a scrooge. Alfie did his usual bus commentary of where all the train lines are & pointing out buses.

We arrived at Dominos just in time for when we said we would, 1:45, the food smelt

Imagedelicious, we asked to have some BBQ sauce instead of all the garlic, he swapped them & then handed us the most sauce iv’e ever had for free & would of cost us a fortune as its 3 tubs for £1 or something like that. Phil thought all his dreams had come at once! haha,

hes addicted to that sauce, I don’t blame him even I love it.

We took our food & headed to the park, the sun was shining so brightly, it was really a beautiful day & beats all the snow we’ve had recently, we found a nice spot & dished out the food, we had ordered enough for about 6 people, but  because we got so many freebies, we thought we could just eat what we didn’t eat later or the next day, it seemed worth it.

Alfie & Miley we’re both shockingly so well behaved normally when we eat Miley cries

Imagefor some & Alfies shouting or running about! They’re not naughty but we never seem to get to eat in peace! but they both sat down so nice & ate their food, they seemed really pleased with the food, as was Phil! & Alfie actually didnt mind that Miley was sat next to him, although she did try to steal his food! but I shared mine with her to keep her pretty little face smiling! It shows how much I love her that I shared my mozzarella sticks with her, even though she dropped it on the grass!

Alfie was the first to finish his food, he’s a picky


eater but even for him he ate a lot & while Phil was eating his chicken wings, Alfie decided to go & run around a tree for a bit & hide, meanwhile I was started to get stuffed too, i’d eaten quite a lot! & was starting to get a bit chilly, I put Miley in her pram so she could enjoy a bottle while I packed up all the rubbish & waited for Phil to finish his food, Phil is a really slow eater he likes to let his food digest & although eats bit portions takes absolutely forever! I asked


Alfie to help me with the rubbish but he seemed enjoying looking through the gaps in the bin saying “I can see you!” but then sadly, put his mouth on the bin & had to be moved!

The park was absolutely packed out as usual & there was kids everywhere!

Normally when places are busy Alfie gets shy but he was straight in there wanting to play & Miley got to play on the swings, which she loved. The sun got a bit too much for moo & her cheeks started turning red so me & her sat on a bench & watched Alfie & Phil play,

Imagethey even had a race back to me & Alfie was giggling his head off running after Phil, they both sat next to me on the bench & we’re acting silly.

Although it was only 3:30 we decided to head home, Alfie walks around town & no longer requires a pram but I didn’t want his feet getting tired & him wanting to be carried.

I decided on the bus to go see my Grandad as he was feeling unwell, Phil headed home as he had things to do. We knocked on the door & walked in, my mum quickly shouted “Hello!”

Imagewhich Alfie replied “Hiya baby!” it was really cute. My Grandad seemed pleased to see me & he gave Miley lots of snuggles, he tried to lift her & although his speech isn’t too well anymore he managed to say “Jesus Christ!” because she’s so big & heavy for her age! I got lots of beautiful photos of Miley with my Grandad, It means a lot to me as my Grandad is very important to me, & I can’t wait to print them out to show him. I hope he gets well soon!

I then spent the rest of the afternoon with my 23 year old brother who says “hash tag” in most sentences, lame but kinda funny!

I headed home about 6:30 & Phil was doing some washing,

I got Alfies tea & he wanted to watch trains on YouTube  while he was doing that Phil & Meatball headed to the shop to get Alfie juice, Alfie screamed

“Where Bill?, where doggy?, Oh no!” I reassured him they were coming back, so he gave Miley a kiss, brushed his teeth & got snug in bed. Phil came back, got Miley ready for bed & I tucked her in while Alfie snored his head off.

My night got better when The Killers Live came on TV, I’ve seen them live, but even on TV it’s just as much enjoyable. Phil came down & said he’d changed Alfie’s nappy, apparently Alfie woke up & said “sorry” to which Phil replied “it’s okay buddy?” & went to stroke his head, before he could do so Alfie grabbed his hand, shook it & said “How do you do?” it makes me so proud that my little lambs are growing & developing so beautifully.

My day is now ending perfectly, Taken 1 is on in the background & i’m going to play Left For

Dead 2 with Phil. Perfect!

Image896668_10151289823596642_1772177489_o (1)908777_10151289725701642_497374162_n

Birmingham Children’s hospital.

So i’m off to Birmingham Children’s hospital tomorrow, to take Alfie to one of his yearly appointments for his condition. After seeing Alfies local dermatologist, who I really like, although Alfie seems scared of him as he had a massive unreasonable meltdown down when he saw Dr Bala and had to be taken back into the play room, I was told that Alfie needs a new sun cream as he seems to blister more when hes wearing the cream rather than without it. So after 2 years of the same sun cream it turns out that that could be the reason he’s blistering *sigh* it just feels like yet another set back.

I’ve already been told that I will probably never find out what’s wrong with Alfie, they say Rothmund Thomson Syndrome but that hasn’t even been properly confirmed. He’s had x-rays, Skin samples, Ultrasounds, that many blood tests that I’ve lost count, he has to have his eyes tested for cataracts, again.. it’s all very frustrating to know after all of that, after Alfie being pinned to the bed by his arms and legs to have blood taken from the heals of his feet but there not being enough blood so they have to tightly squeeze his feet so the blood flows, all the time he’s screaming and tears are flowing from his face, me having to hold him tightly while he has a chunk of skin cut from his forearm, all of this, and over 50 dermatologists have seen him, I’ve been in touch with a hospital in America who have experience in his condition and his toes nail falling off and splitting, his skin is a constant rash, his eyes water from a little bit of light and MORE horrible experiences that I can’t even remember and still no one knows what is wrong with him.

All of this has happened in the short space of his 2 year life. It’s very upsetting and tomorrow at his appointment i’m hoping for some answers but all I ever hear is “it’s all trial and error” surely someone must know what’s wrong?

Anyway, here’s a short insight to my week.


Cheers to the freakin weekend, I drink to that.

The last week Alfie was at his Dads house, although not being able to see him for a whole week has been really hard, I had a really good week.


Alfie left with Ben and I was like nooo! after he’d gone, Ceirwen was here though and she gave me a hug to cheer me up, so it was nice. She spotted a load of flying ants in the garden, I poured ant powder over them but it just didn’t seem to work, so I got out deodorant and a lighter and flamethrowered them ahha, actually worked. Ceirwen wasnt in a very happy mood, so I threw her a dress from my wardrobe that I knew she liked and told her to get ready as we we’re going out for dinner. It was fairly late in the evening to be going to town, we went anyway, ordered cocktails and had some nommy food, we decided to go and buy alcohol to make our own cocktail at home, i’ll be honest it tasted like crap, apple sourz, schnapps and lemonade, twas incredibly strong and over powering. We proceeded to my garden where my dog just totally got on our nerves, after singing and dancing, I decided I wanted to get changed, I lay on my bed for about 15 minutes and decided I just wanted to go to bed, I asked Matt not to come, which I felt bad about but, there was no point.


I wantd to spend the day naked, eating the contents of my fridge and watching rubbish TV, I did the rubbish TV part, a programme about a Scottish girl who was pregnant, I love the show, but her voice was just so annoying. I had a phone call from my Mum asking me to go to the shop for her to get her an onion, she wasnt in work as my granddad was poorly that day. I hesitated as I really didn’t want to, but did it anyway and in the end she had a whole shopping list of things she needed. I got to her house and my granddad really didn’t look well, he never does these days bless him. I asked my mum what she was planning to cook, she said cottage pie, so I made it for her, chopped up all the ingredients, peeled the potatoes and cooked the mince and I was surprised because there was enough to feed about 6 people and my family loved it and ate every bit, I was rather happy as none of them think I can cook. I left her house about half 12 to do some washing for my granddad, Ceirwen had asked me to go to her house for a bit,  the weather was beautiful and I said we should be on a beach after less than 5 mins of discussing, we were at the bus stop waiting for a bus to Barmouth. The bus took two and a half hours and it was worth every minute, I got changed on the bus and Ceirwen got changed in the middle of the beach! We decided to go into the sea, I got absolutely soaked and was wearing a denim miniskirt, it looked like I peed myself. We decided to take out t shirts off just for the fun of it and it was actually really fun! I needed a wee and Ceirwen said she wasnt going to walk all the way back to the toilets and suggested I just go in the sea, I removed my underwear and peed in the sea, i’m classy like that. We went to the arcade where I won lots of tokens and a toy car for Alfie. We got the half 6 bus home and there was a dead pigeon or seagull I can’t remember, in the road and people were just walking through it! it was gross. The bus ride home was dire, I was soaked and freezing. All in all though it was a really fun day!


Me and Ceirwen decided to go to Rhyl, we ended up just staying in Chester, it wasnt a very good day as it was pouring down and Ceirwen wasnt feeling very good, I do love Chester, but it just has too many memories that I felt I couldn’t really enjoy myself anyway, so we went home. I fell asleep on the bus, I’ve been so tired recently, I’ve been staying awake til 7am and getting up after a few hours and it really just caught up with me that day. I got home and I had plans to watch DVD’s with Dewi, I invited Ceirwen and Matt to join and there was lots of alcohol, me and Matt went to the chippy and when I came back theyd rearranged my house! mostly Dewi though to be honest! The 3 of them got extremely drunk, I’ve never seen Dewi or Ceirwen that drunk before, I didn’t really drink as I was feeling really sad and didn’t think it was wise to get drunk. The whole night was pretty much spent in my bed with them all and there was alcohol spilt everywhere. I was woken up in the early morning by Ceirwen saying Matt had to go home, I assumed she was leaving too but when I woke up later on and went downstairs she was sat in my livingroom and had tidied up all of their mess, which was a relief as I was not looking forward to it!


I went to town with Ceirwen and decided to treat myself to a new fridge freezer, piercing, Xbox live, xbox game, skull candy headphones, an iPod, a chilli pizza and bought my mum a prezzie teehee! Oh and bought a new phone cover off Ebay for my sexyyyy new phone!


Friday was a bit of a disaster, I sent the whole day stressed out. It started with my brother coming to my house with his girlfriend Sophie and her friend, I hate people coming to my house without telling me, I don’t know why but it makes me feel so uncomfortable. Then Ceirwen came down but I knew she was coming. Sophie’s car had broken down and she’s such a drama queen she was faffing about for ages as I was trying to clean as a lady was coming to collect Obi. My brother and crew left and then the woman turned up, I really didn’t want to get rid of Obi, but I knew it was for the best to rehome him. She really loved him, she emailed me saying thankyou and that her four little boys love him to bits and she couldn’t imagine a better dog, which made me really happy. Then my Dad came to help me with my new fridge, the woman who bought my old one was due any minute and I felt even more nervous! After carrying a 7ft fridge with my Dad he told me he was taking my old one to the womans house, which was a relief. Ceirwen helped me move everything around and was genuinely a great help. When Ceirwen left I spent the rest of the night on the phone, I even had a conversation with the persons Dad, I felt so awkward but, I really am truly glad I spoke to him because now everything makes sense, it might not to you, but it does to me.


I don’t even remember what I did saturday, I just remember making bacon at 4am. Oh and I baby sit for my niece and nephew, it was lovely and my dad got me indian food which was gorgeous! but way too much for me to eat so I kept some for the next day! and played halo3.


Probably the worst day to be honest, so much family drama at my parents house so I just decided to go home, my granddad looked really ill today too, I gave him a big cuddle and we were both wearing green, I joked that we looked like a tree.. i’m not sure why, I just really didn’t know what to say to him without crying. When I came home I spent pretty much the whole day talking to the one of the few people who really make me happy these days, I had a bath, cleaned my fish out did my brothers washing and spent the night on halo, Ceirwen came to my house late in the night to get some sims games, I have them all and because I love sims so much, I like that other people borrow my games so then its like yay you like sims too, fully aware how lame I am. The rest of the night was spent feeling incredibly ill, my head was pounding and it was horrible.


I woke up today, I hadn’t put my bin out, I couldn’t be bothered, I had remembered in the middle of the night and went to take it out but it was so dark, my head is killing me and Alfies due back in a few hours and i’m so excited!

Oh, You’ve been talking ’bout my new diamond rings..

Don’t need your money-box, Cause I got lots & lots, Of what I need right here, right here with you my dear.

I realised recently that the world really does revolve around money and how much of it you have. Growing up I had the best of everything, I never had to ask twice, if I wanted it, I had it within days, if not that day. My Nanna and Grandad spoilt me so much that I never really realised how little I cared for money, I only had to smile and I’d get what I want. My Nanna at 72 had a better mobile phone and laptop than me, I remember jokingly saying it was unfair and the same day she gave me the money to go buy a new laptop.

Even though my Nanna passed away, I still have a way of getting everything I want, I’m not spoilt, sometimes I’ve gone weeks without any money, in fact one time I gave the last of my money to Children In Need and was broke as a joke for a few weeks, but it was just the sight of the little children on the TV going without the simplest of things, water and food, something we all take for granted and while I was sat in my lovely house watching the Tv with Alfie about to order a takeaway, I realised there’s more important things in life, so gave the last of my money away.

As a single Mum, I can’t spoilt myself as much as I used to, but it’s weird, I don’t actually treat myself at all, it seems like at the moment, I don’t need money to make me happy, my Nanna used to always tell me that “money doesn’t bring happiness” which I’d quickly reply with “I’d rather be crying with pretty clothes on” she told me that one day i’d realise that it’s not that important. I honestly now feel like all these years I’ve done nothing but waste money on stuff I never appreciated or really needed. I would get paid from work and automatically either spend it in town or spend it online, leaving me broke for the rest of the week because I wanted something pointless.

I’ve done nothing but pine for my iphone back, a birthday present  I was bought from my boyfriend at the time, he took it back off me out of pure spite and it quite literally devastated me having to buy a rubbish phone to replace it, but my “rubbish” phone does exactly what I only really used my iPhone for, texts, phone calls and occasionally the internet, yeah the cameras not as good but I have a lovely digital camera which cost me quite a lot, so I really don’t see why I moaned so much.

I guess recently I realised that with my lack of money, I’m still just as happy as I was when I had lots of money, it seems that I now know that the people around me make me much happier than money ever did, I just wished I had listened to my Nanna sooner. However, with my new-found wisdom ahha, I hope I can teach Alfie that it doesn’t matter how much or how little money he has, as long as he has enough to pay his bills, it’s the least of his problems and as long as he is a good person, karma comes back around and will reward him with happiness that money can’t buy, love.