Baby Rant.

Apparently, according to the Health visitor most of a toddler’s frustrations are because of their inability to tell you what they want. Apparently, when they can fully speak, all of the crying fits stop.

Yeah, i’m sure…

Luckily, I seem to understand what Alfie wants 30% of the time

Mee-mouse – Mickey Mouse.

A buh. – Bus

Choo choo – Train

A Jew!! – Juice

Teeeeeth – Teeth

I cah see you – I can see you

Sorree – Sorry

and so on.

Alfie sort of reminds me of a furby, no hes not furry with big eyes, but he does speak like one occasionally! Alfie seems to be able to sing a whole song but struggles with most sentences. He’s starting his speech therapy soon so hopefully that will help him along.

When it comes to my children I am a pushover, there’s no point even denying it because even the postman knows it.

Saying no to my little button nosed children really is a struggle, I can deal with the screaming that follows the word “no”, but the sadness in their eyes, if they can’t have something they want is horrible. I’d hate to think that my discipline has my little cheebies upset, I want them to have a happy childhood, like mine, I was rarely told off.

I’m not saying that children shouldn’t be disciplined because they should, every child needs routine and structure and I don’t want mine to be spoilt, but I find it easier to say “Alfie, you can’t have another yogurt because dinner is ready” rather than “No, put it back!” either way he doesn’t fully understand the 1st sentence but the second is like entering a war ground. I’m aware though, there is times where I have to outright tell him no.

He’s pretty good with the important things, he loves nothing more than brushing his teeth, and will now say “brush your teeeeeeth” in a sing song voice. In fact i’d left my toothbrush in my bedroom the other day and he found it, climbed onto the toilet seat and out it back in the cupboard for me.

Things that used to be impossible, things i’d dread doing have become 100% easier as he has grown up so much these last few months.

He lets his hair be cut

Brushes his teeth multiple times a day

Lets me cut his nails

Washes his self, well to a toddlers standards so has to be redone

Will try new food, if he likes it, its a “mmm!” if not, it gets spat out and put back on his plate followed by a “no” and will shake his head

Will take his coat, hat, gloves scarf and wellies off when we get in

Will put something back if I ask him to

Gets into bed by himself

He can even now turn his TV on to watch a DVD

These are things a few months ago he wouldn’t do, so I do see an improvement in him.

Mileys only 7 months old, so she doesn’t really have to do anything but poop and smile, but she’s really a good baby, she says hiya, she’s sitting up and she’s trying to shuffle about but her big bum from me stops her feom doing that! She doesn’t really cry much either, so i’m hoping that she will completely skip the terrible twos, i‘m deluded.

It really tickles me when people think that having children is easy. I overheard a group of girls on the bus saying they were trying for a baby they looked about 15. It’s not hard, but its not easy, you can’t even have a wee in peace. Your life will never be the same again, remember that time you popped to the cinema on a last minute decision? yeah say goodbye to that! you’ll never know what its like to be a parent, until you become one and even then your that sleep deprived to even realise what time of day it is.

I love being a parent, it’s great, I enjoy every little part of it, but you do lose your identity, your not yourself no more, the majority of my post is “to the parent of” etc..

And it’s stressful, you have to make decisions for someone else, you have the potential to make this little persons life perfect, but one bad choice and they can completely change.

I want Alfie and Miley to grow up and feel like they can tell me anything they want, but it doesn’t always work out like that, there’s things I couldn’t tell my mum and that doesn’t make her a bad mum or mean I don’t love her, I just don’t feel comfortable about opening up to people, I never tell people if i’m sad or lonely, or struggling, I just listen to everyone else moan non stop about how “hard” their life is, when they haven’t even been through anything.

I want Alfie and Miley to come to me with their troubles. I want to be able to say “no” and them listen to me, I’m guessing I need to stop being a push over. If I could give anyone any advice it would be, wait.

Wait, until you are with someone who you know is going to be a good dad, in fact scrap that. I thought that about Alfies Dad, who now has him two nights a month. Being a single Mum was hard, but the best decision I could ever of made for my little boy. Now that I have Phil and my Miley my little family is complete.

Patience, the crying does stop, so does the tantrums and its all going to be funny memories when their older, I can’t wait to tell Alfie in front of his girlfriend at 16 “Do you remember that time when you had an utter meltdown because you did a poo in the toilet, then wouldn’t leave the bathroom until you could say goodbye to your poop!?” teehee.

Anyway, Happy Valentines day. My Little potato’s loved their valentines day prezzies. I know this because Alfie stood their with a big grin on his face and Miley kept kissing hers. Nawwh.

I hope you all have a lovely loved up valentines day!

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Baby Choo.

It seems like the distance between each blog is getting bigger, it’s not that I don’t have anything to blog about, because I really do, I just don’t use the internet as much as I used to and when I do its usually to quickly check on social networking sites on my iphone. 

I’m currently just sitting on the top of my stairs, i’ve dyed my hair blue and i’m waiting for it to be set so I can wash it out, I checked if it was safe for the baby and seeing as it is on a vegetable dye, it is!

I went to my midwifes appointment this morning and heard the baby’s heartbeat for the 1st time, she warned me that it may not come up as the baby is still so tiny, I lay on the bed and rolled up my tshirt, she tucked some tisue paper into my trousers so that they would’nt get gel on them and applied the freezing cold gel onto my tummy, using the dopler she found the babies hearbeat and straight away we could hear it luckily it was very clear and sounded like a train on its tracks. I’ve decided that untill I find out the sex of the baby, it will be called Baby Choo.

I’m not really enjoying this pregnancy, as i’ve been sick pretty much everyday, i’m constantly tired and keep getting weird pains in my back and tummy (which are normal) so it’s really hard to enjoy being pregnant when i’m feeling so miserable all the time. I wish that the UK did baby showers like Americans do, a baby shower is sort of like a party usually for just females and they all get together in a beautifully decorated room and buy the expectant Mum and baby presents and treats! but no, not in the UK! I don’t even get a seat on the bus in this rubbish country. I can’t remember the last time someone even asked me anything to do with the baby or it’s development, people in the UK don’t seem to care much for pregnant women!

Photo of the day-10

I thought it was about time I blogged about something that’s incredibly important in my life. I havent really wanted to talk about it because then it doesn’t seem so bad? but if I don’t blog about it I feel like I’m making it out to be something im ashamed of, or embarrassed about, when in reality I don’t care what anyone thinks about it and I just don’t know how to talk about it.

For the last 6 months, my now 10 month old son has had a rash on his arms and legs, he has seen 45 dermatologists, 3 nurses and 5 doctors about this rash, yet not one person had a clue what it could be. For the last 2 months of so, I’ve been living with the fact they think my little boy is allergic to sunlight. They can’t confirm it yet as they said his condition is rare and possibly the only case in the UK.

At my last appointment with the dermatologist, after waiting 6 weeks for him to bother to get back in touch with me, he pretty much confirmed that it’s what Alfie has, he wouldn’t say that though.. not without the proof, but when I told him I was traveling to see my sister that evening for my nephews christening, he basically told me it wasn’t a good idea to have Alfie outside.

You see the thing is with Alfie’s rash, he doesn’t notice it, it doesn’t hurt or even itch, recently though Alfie’s skin has been blistering, just from the light coming through my venetian blinds. Making the dermatologist more concerned about Alfie and his skin.

I questioned him about the severity of this condition, he said he can’t tell me anything until its confirmed, I carried on asking anyway, asking about what happens with school, will he be allowed out’? etc. He replied, “in a mild condition a child would have to wear full length clothing, a hat and gloves every time they go out, in a worse situation the child wouldn’t be allowed out at all” he then followed that quickly up with “and Alfie’s case is rare” I took that how it sounded, that Alfie did have the condition and it was going to a worse situation than currently. He went on to tell me about how Alfie would never have a normal life because its genetic.

The main problem is the dermatologist who is working on Alfie’s case has now retired, meaning she is catching up with her patients 1 day a week, god knows how long we will have to wait, probably another 6 months, and no one is as qualified to deal with the case as she is.

The reality of it all is, my little innocent 10 month old boy, might never be allowed outside, he wont be allowed to look through the curtains, he has to wear sunscreen inside, thickly put on twice a day, he might never be allowed to go to school, to make mud pies in the garden, he wont be able to hang around with his friends, if he’s able to make friends, he wouldn’t be able to go to the park, he wont know what its like to play in the snow, leafs or rain, go swimming or even to play on his bike that he has in the garden. He would grow up constantly inside with the blinds shut.

If Alfie does have this condition, which I hope and pray he doesn’t, I will bring outdoors in, make sure we do lots of indoor gardening, I’ll buy a giant sand pit which in winter I will fill with snow for him and sand and water in the summer. I’ll show him snails and worms and my all time favourite, lady birds.

As absolutely heart breaking and as devastating as this all sounds, I am just so grateful to have such an amazing little boy. I think we all take simple things in life for granted. I am lucky, hes healthy, he has all of his limbs, hes growing great. My baby may not be able to have a normal life, but things could be a hell of a lot worse. I just hope that he doesn’t have this condition.

So when you go to sleep tonight please, pray for Alfie.

My full time job.

I’m finding it difficult to blog these days as it seems these days all I seem to do is cook! With a baby of 9 months its pretty hard to do anything. He’s learning to walk at the moment and climbing on everything, so cooking even becomes a hard job. The average day normally goes like this:

6am: Bottle.

8am: Cereal.

10am:Bottle.

11am: potatoes, fish and peas.

12am: Bottle.

2pm: Fruit sticks and yoghurt.

4pm: Bottle.

5pm: Home made lasagna with veg and garlic bread.

7pm: bottle and porridge.

1am: Bottle.

4am: Bottle.

and then restart the day again! and keep in mind that’s not including the food I have to make for me and Ben too. So when do I have time to do other stuff? I can’t bath unless Ben is here as Alfie doesn’t like to be left on his own, even if he is playing in his room. So my days are very busy, even if it seems like I havent done much, what I can do is limited, especialy cleaning as I cant bleach the floor with a little boy moving about!

Having a baby is a full-time job, it’s not always easy but its the best job in the world. Alfie’s so loving and caring, he’s cheeky, hes funny he has a huge personality for such a young age and he just loves giving kisses.

Things are harder though, when a child becomes sick, gets a bug or their teeth are coming through. We are currently patiently waiting for monday to come to talk to the dermatologist about Alfie’s “condition” but seeing as he’s left us in the dark and went on holiday for 3 weeks its been stressful.

I hate seeing young Mum’s on Tv, Jeremy Kyle being a prime example. Girls my age and younger having babies with random one night stands, using all the benefits they can get to fund their lives and their boyfriends drug habits. It makes me sad because I would hate people to think that I’m like them, when I’m not.

My boyfriend has a full-time job, a very good job too and I stay at home bringing up out little boy, we don’t claim benefits like they do. We don’t do drugs and we have a lovely home. I know this blog is all over the place, but I hate the fact “young mums” are always in the news and there’s never any good reports or stories.

I believe that young Mums are just as good as middle aged Mums. Plus, if Alfie ever goes into a old peoples home we can go together! hahaa. no but seriously. Its the best full time job you can ever have. I cant wait to have more children. The thought of having a busy house and children running around makes me happy. My Nana had 10 children, my Mum had 5.. so my families already massive, although most of my relatives are a waste of space and dont know the world “family” mine will be different.